It smells like spring in my house now. I absolutely love it.
I hate being on this unconsistent "rollercoaster" in my relationship with God. There are two things I can do with that. Stop pursuing a relationship with God or keep on striving and in turn keep on experiencing those highs and lows and experience starting over and over again.
I don't think I really hate the feeling of falling short of God's glory enough to completely completely give up. Sometimes I feel really close though or at least I used to. Isn't that so sad?
Sometimes I get really overwhelmed. Like when you are in this cleaning mood and you make this enormous list of things to clean because you feel like it and wont be satisfied unless its all clean. I wonder if you go through that too.
In the same sense, I feel like I need to memorize every inspirational quote and read all of my bible and take full advantage of the people I have in my life. Its so much considering how many really amazing people I have in my life. It is so terrible when I think of what it would be like to lose them and then I turn around the next day and completely take them for granted. I wish I could pray for everything and have everything be better, you know?
Some days I pray for lots of things and I dont know...it seems pointless when I look back on it now?
It's not that I dont think I really meant the prayer...but I just think I need to come to terms with the power of prayer. I need to realize how strong it really is. Right now, I am praying for LIFE and that I learn to take advantage of it...that I do not waste the day acting in sinful ways.
That is such a huge prayer.
Oh yea. I dont have to make things more complicated than they are.
